i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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