Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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