They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
