Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
