I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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