i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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