she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
