I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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