i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
