2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
