We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
