Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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