Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
