i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
