Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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