Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
