alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
