OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
