Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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