New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
