Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
