I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
