do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
