so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
