During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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