i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
