If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
