His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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