I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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