similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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