So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
