im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
