Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
