He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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