I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
