Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
