May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
