Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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