So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
