i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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