I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
