she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
