someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
