What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
