I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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