Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
