how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
