I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
