two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
