Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
